Leviticus: God's diet

Leviticus occasionally uses the phrase "food of your God." Perhaps it is only saying "food that is offered in sacrifice to God" and should simply be taken at face value. Yet, maybe there is another way of understanding it.

If the sacrifices given to God were considered his food, then shouldn't we raise the question about what we are sacrificing to him today? If food keeps us alive, then what am I doing to keep my God alive? I'm not implying that his existence depends upon me. I am implying that the relationship between us thrives or withers based upon my attentiveness. He can be alive or dead "to me" based upon my involvement in the relationship.

Do I offer a constant, reliable diet of sacrifice to my Father that nourishes the relationship? Do I provide a care and attention to the relationship by sacrificing important things like time and energy? Or does my God just get leftovers? When there is a spare moment or convenient time, I give a little of it to him. Is that enough for a healthy relationship to grow? If that is how I treat other relationships, what would happen to them?

Genesis: 1991

In 1991, the Cold War ended, a U.N. coalition fought the Gulf War (Operation Desert Storm), Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested in Milwaukee, Rodney King was beaten, the 911 system was being tested, Centel was advertising a revolutionary idea called a cell phone the size of a brick, a gallon of gasoline cost $1.12, I returned to graduate school and my first son was born. I wonder what I prayed about then? I wonder how the Father responded?

Twenty-two years later, 1991 seems like a blip on the radar. There was so much going on at the moment that I believed would be unforgettable. Now, I struggle to remember. The importance of yesterday is overshadowed by the urgency of today. Of the perpetual prayers and special spiritual moments, what do I remember now? What was profound enough that even today I am shaped by its memory? Can I remember?

Those are the questions that come to me when I think of Joseph. From the time he was given a promise by God to the time it was fulfilled, twenty-two years passed. Twenty-two amazing years of abandonment, slavery, false accusations, and prison followed by rising to the office of Prime Minister. Through tragedy and triumph he could trace the fulfillment of those words spoken two decades earlier.

It makes me question how much attention am I paying to life? To God? What promise spoken to me twenty-two years ago still shapes my worldview? What words or prayers lifted up twenty-two years ago influence how I live today? What from today will shape my world in 2026? Am I paying close attention in the moment or just hurrying through life believing the American lie that he who runs through life at the fastest pace wins?

Perhaps the prayer that should shape my life is, "Lord, help me pay more attention to the important and less to the urgent." Something will shape my life in 2026; why not let it be a relationship with the Father from today?

Genesis: Determinism and free will Abraham style

I am fascinated by the interplay of God's will and human will. The extremes pit one against the other. Is God sovereign so that what he determines is done and human free will is really non-existent? Or do humans have free will to make decisions and the poem Invictus is correct when it states "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul?"

Abraham seemed to live somewhere in between; his stories reveal the interplay of divine and human will. When Abraham sent for a wife for Isaac, we actually get to hear him explain his belief. His servant feared that finding a wife might not be so easy. Abraham explained, "[God] will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine." In a nutshell, Abraham believed that God would orchestrate some encounter between his servant and a good wife for Isaac. Then the lady would exercise her free will by accepting or not. Both God's will and human will were involved.

So what does this mean? For one thing, it means "thy kingdom come, they will be done" in the Lord's Prayer makes more sense. Rather than tell a sovereign God to "zap the world with his will" - which would be automatic if he is sovereign and humans have no free will - the line has more to do with my acceptance of his will. It is the counterpart to Jesus's prayer in the garden - "not my will but yours." It was the same prayer at the beginning and ending of his ministry and should be the same at the beginning and ending of mine.

It also makes today a little more exciting. Rebekah became a part of God's story, living out God's will by simply being open to the needs of the people around her. That re-frames what it means to stand in line at the store, meet a new student on campus or sit by a stranger at a game. Who knows what story I might step into? Who knows what plan God has set in motion around me? Who knows what saying "yes" might lead to next?

Lord's Prayer: If he's leading, why do I need deliverance?

"Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil (one)."

Long have I thought on this verse and struggled with its implications. We pray for God to lead us like the Psalm 23 shepherd who guides by relationship but also has tools to keep his sheep from danger. He can protect the sheep with his rod or block the departure from safety with his staff.  We long to be guided with such security.

Yet, sheep are stupid. As a veterinarian, I watched a shepherd gently call all his sheep to himself and lead them expertly through multiple gates to better pasture - except for the little guy on the side of the flock who just seemed absurdly impatient. He came to the gate and decided it would be quicker to jump around the fencepost to the right rather than the left like everyone else. And so jumped squarely into the fence itself. Next came panic and running back and forth behind the fence as the flock walked away down the path. He was trapped, victimized by his own poor judgment. Anatomically, sheep have big brains; physiologically, they seem underused. Sounds like a good spiritual description of me.

Hence my thinking about "lead and deliver" in the Lord's prayer is shaped by a vivid memory of that stupid little lamb. The shepherd's leading was there all along and most of the time, the little guy followed it. Yet with just one split-second of poor judgment disaster developed. After that, forget leading, he needed deliverance.

So I pray that the good shepherd chooses paths for me that do not lead me into circumstances like Abraham's "offer thine only son", or Job's "have you considered my servant", or Jesus's "he was led by the Spirit into the desert". I pray that he just leads me through the gates and down the smooth path to better pasture. Yet along that path I know there will be fence posts and I'll jump the wrong way occasionally - whether by ignorance, allurement or evil influence. I just know that I'll end up looking stupid, running around behind a barrier bleating loudly as I watch the shepherd walk away. In those moments, "Lord, deliver me."

Lord's Prayer: As we (maybe) forgive others

"Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors."

I don't know anyone who has a problem with part A of this phrase; we like and understand "forgive us our debts". Its part B of the sentence that sends us to commentaries, dictionaries, and any other "aries" we can think of. I typically do that when I have no idea what the verse means or - this case - I know what it means but prefer to act like I don't.

If my heart beat in Jesus - rather than letting his dictate me  - maybe this verse would read, "forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven the debts of people we really, really like and who have not hurt us too deeply." Its those deep wounds that present the problem because once I am hurt deeply, I can turn the other person into a demon in my mind. Once I achieve the feat of converting them from being a human into being a demon, then they are basically evil personified. This allows me to not be responsible for forgiving them; after all, evil needs to be judged, condemned, and avoided. So the verse becomes "forgive my sins as I judge, condemn and avoid certain people." It is so much easier.

Over the past year, rather than wrestle with who or what needs to be forgiven, I've tried to embrace the heart of Jesus behind the phrase. This means my heart now prays, "I want to be a forgiving person." It really doesn't matter who the other person is, this is my choice. The debt - the wound - can be legitimate or illegitimate, one-time or on-going, deep or superficial; it really doesn't matter. The issue at stake is not the offense committed against me, who the other person is or even what their intention was. The issue is who am I. Will I hold poison in my heart or do I have the heart of Jesus?

Am I a forgiver?

Lord's Prayer: The Anti-Success Line

"Give us this day our daily bread."

I think Jesus was pulling from Proverbs 30:8-9 which reads, ". . . give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God"

As middle class North Americans we believe ours is a world where resources are plentiful, even unlimited; only those who do not try hard enough are poor. The dude at the corner with a cardboard sign must be lazy or, worse, cursed for disobedience to God. That would be the only explanation for not having a piece of the unlimited pie. Therefore being poor is connected to sin and sloth in our minds. This means we often interpret "give us our daily bread" as "give me the strength to get my piece of the pie."

Yet as flawed as that argument might be, the really tragedy is our blindness to the other end of the spectrum. We ignore the portion of the proverb which warns against having too much. We skip over Deuteronomy 8 and its repeated warnings of the deceitfulness of success. We send our young to school to be successful and we honor those who succeed financially by making them elders and deacons.

So what does God really hear when we as the successful middle class pray "give me daily bread?" Maybe he hears our hearts confessing to reliance on something other than him; may he hears our problem handling success.
I wonder if his answer addresses a different need than our petition? Perhaps his words to Haggai still speak to us, "Give careful thought to your ways. . . You expected much, be see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why? Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house."

I think its still worth some thought.

Lord's Prayer: Hallowed Verbs?

As a kid I had a hard time understanding the connection between "hallowed by thy name" and Halloween. They both were "hallowed" right? Since I understood Halloween with its goblins and ghosts, I struggled with how that fit into the Lord's Prayer. I figured it would make sense one day.

What came to make sense was the heart of this prayer. I was teaching in Venezuela and asked the men to spend time alone with the prayer, elongating each line with their own thoughts. As we debriefed, I did not give much time to this line and a young Christian called me out. "Isn't it the primary thought of the prayer?", he asked.  I had just enough intelligence to pay attention to people with fresh perspectives. And he was so right.

A look at the rest of the prayer confirms it. After praying for "your kingdom and your will" - as opposed to my efforts and my will - comes a list of verbs that are all about submission. "Give us", "lead us", "deliver us", and "forgive us" are all verbs where the action is done either to me or for me. This is not a prayer stating "here is what I think I should do; please bless it" but rather "I am powerless; I surrender". It is submission to a powerful yet caring father God.

The prayer is not very North American - independent, pull yourself up by your bootstraps - and thus it frequently alludes us, becoming a ritual void of meaning. Yet if we pay attention, if we pray from the heart as well as the head, it reminds us of who is really in control and that he cares for us. That makes him worthy of praise. It makes him hallowed.

Lord's Prayer: Father in Heaven

For years I breezed through the first line of this prayer as if they were the first words to a friend on the phone. "Hi, how are you?" "Hey, whats up, John?" It was just the line Jesus used to jump start the prayer, right? After all you have to start somewhere. I overlooked the depth of the words that Jesus chose, words that seem to hark back to creation.

In Genesis 1, God is presented to us as powerful, distant, and awe-inspiring. He stands at a distance and orchestrates creation "ex-nihilo". Whatever our understanding of Genesis 1, we have some form of incomprehensibility and otherness mixed with it. In Genesis 2, God is presented with his hands in the dirt and breathing into our nostrils. He is close, intimate and connected. We see a personal side we did not see in Genesis 1.

So Genesis begins with "in heaven" - the powerful and otherly God followed by "father" - the personal God. We are reminded of both his essence and his power when we pray to "our father who is in heaven."

Jesus had a way of saying so much even when he said so little.

John 2:1-12; Prayer

This story challenges my prayer life. Jesus clearly told Mary, "No." But she was undaunted. Her faith remained strong that he would respond to her petition.

So what do I do with this? I don't want to be Abraham who pushed for his dream so much that he gave birth to Ishmael and many have regretted the decision ever since. He acted apart from God. I don't want to be Israel who asked for a king even though God said it was not a good idea. They persisted and he gave it to them; later it caused division and their downfall. Their hearts were not in harmony with God even though they called out to him. Here Mary knew her son but was not in sync with his wishes nor his dream. Yet he still responded and it was a good thing (apparently).

And so I struggle. There are ways I would like God to respond but I don't know if it is in his or my best interest. Can I appeal to the presidence set by Mary while avoiding the mistakes of Abraham and Israel? I hope so but I don't know so. It times like this where I just count on God knowing my heart while I try to know his.

Joshua 10:1-15; What is Amazing

Not only did Joshua keep his promise of peace with the Gibeonites but he marched to their aid as an ally. If that is not somewhat surprising, then the fact that God sent a hailstorm to assist the Israelites should be impressive. Yet, the most amazing fact of this story is the sun and moon standing still in the sky. With all my science background I would love to explain that but I can't. God did something inexplicable that day. However, as mind-boggling as that is, the comment on it is more fascinating still. "There has never been a day like it before or since, a day when the LORD listened to a human being."

What the Jews found amazing was not that God could make the sun and moon stand still but that God would listen to the petition of a human! Of course he can make the sun do what he wants, he is God. If he created the world, then surely he can control it. The action of stopping the sun seemed to fall within the realm of what divinity does. It is the listening to a human that does not sound very divine. God did something proposterous because a human asked it. How un-god like.

Think of all the things we send up to God in prayer. I want a happy life, a better job, to win the game. I want to pass the test, be safe and get a pony for Christmas. When you think about it, much of what we ask for is ludicrous and quite selfish. Even when we are on our best behavior we still offer up selfish prayers, e.g., bless me, take care of my friend, etc. Are they prayers that further his influence? Are they prayers about what is best for his reputation or that facilitate his will to be done? Yet, there are moments when a prayer is blatantly answered, selfish or not. And we must stop and recognize that God just responded. That is still an amazing thought. That the creator of the world would listen to me does not seem like something a creator would do. That the one who is so much more advanced than me would care about me enough to respond to a selfish petition is inexplicable. That is what the comment in this chapter says as well. Loosely translated it could read, "Who cares if the sun stood still; the amazing thing is that the creator listened to a human!"

It is still an amazing thought. When the absurdity of it is contemplated, then it makes me ashamed of my petty petitions I often call prayer.

Mark 14:27-42; Just an Hour

He knew before they did. How frustrating that must have been and how humbling when the apostles looked back at the event. Jesus predicted they would not stand up to the hour of trial and then they chose to tend to physical needs rather than spiritual needs.

It is the question Jesus asked Peter that seems haunting to me. "Couldn't you keep watch for one hour?" How might the scene have played out if Peter and the others had spent the night in prayer? Jesus would have continued on towards the cross but other events might have been different. Perhaps they would not have abandoned Jesus in the garden. Perhaps Peter would not have stayed at a distance and then denied he even knew Jesus. Perhaps they would not have been so confused by the events of the next three days. Perhaps.

What I know is that I very often choose to take care of physical needs instead of spiritual ones. It is easy to not keep watch for an hour. It is easy to ignore the spiritual events around me. Instead of denying self and following him, it is easy to deny him and follow self.

Mark 7:24-37; Spiritual begging

This mother had every reason to give up. She was not the right race, she was powerless politically and Jesus flatly told her no. If ever there was a moment to give up, it was then. Yet she basically ignored Jesus' "no" and persisted in her begging.

The next story has a man brought to Jesus and the story says that his friends begged. No asking or just put him nearby like some people. These openly begged for Jesus to respond. That fact that they begged implies the need to beg, i.e., a slow response from Jesus.

In comparison my prayers don't seem very passionate. Often I have taken the first rejection as a "no" from God. And what does this mean to a generation that looks for "signs" from God more than it looks to Jesus? If either of these stories had occurred within the millennial generation, I think they would have ended differently. They would have definitely settled for a "no" answer. Yet perhaps the entire section is recorded to teach us about the person of Jesus and how we get his attention. If so, how does my prayer life compare? Perhaps another question that I have to answer would be "what is there in my life that I am so passionate about that I am ready to beg?"

Philippians 2:5-17; Work out

Jesus went from being set apart as God to being a murdered human servant. So when the text calls me to "work out" my salvation, it calls me to a lot of work. To follow in those footsteps repeating that pattern is an intimidating call. Everything within me wants to leave the words as "good theory" and then play a nice church game. Daily self abasement without complaining is a high calling.

The prayer of "not my will but yours be done" is easily stated but not easily lived. It is a heartfelt decision that must proceed daily from time alone. Jesus uttered those words in private as he grappled with his own desires. Unless I put myself in the same position, my prayer will simply be words spoken out of a sense of duty but with no heart conviction. It was this prayer that permitted him to fulfill his purpose though no one understood it in the moment.

Can I utter this same prayer with the same conviction and carry it out with no complaints like he did? If not, do I have the right to call myself his follower?

Romans 1:8-17; By Faith

Two sections stand out to me. First, Paul calls God himself as a witness to Paul's faithfulness in prayer for the people of Rome that he has not yet met. What a conviction to pray. How often to I tell someone "I'll pray for you" and then forget? How easy it is to not be diligent in praying for even those I love.

Then Paul makes the statement that "in the gospels a righteousness from God is revealed; a righteousness that is by faith from first to last. Just as it is written the righteous will live by faith."

I grew up reading the gospels and hearing the story over and over. Yet somehow I heard it not as the revelation of a life of faith but as how to perfectly live in order to fulfill requirements. I heard it as the new law. It was still a law but it was a better one than the previous Old Testement. Yet Paul refers to it as revelation. The revelation of a new way to live that is totally unrelated to law.

Reading Paul's comment makes me want to repent. It makes me want to start over. To read and re-read the story until it is clearer to me that this in not a "how to" manual for perfect life before a lawmaking God but rather this is the revelation of the righteousness from God to us.

Luke 22:39-46; Close but only physically

Luke has a short garden scene. He does not present Jesus going back and forth three times. Rather he presents Jesus as perhaps more direct. His points seems to focus more on the exhaustion, stress and anguish. He speaks to his disciples before and after but not during his prayer time.

I wonder how much the apostles had understood by this point? They were exhausted with sorrow according to Luke. Yet their responses later indicated a lack of preparation. They were unable to pick up on what was going on in Jesus' life.

How easy it is to be close in proximity to someone and yet not pick up on what is going on in their life. How easy to get a little idea of their feelings but miss the bigger picture. How easy to be focused on self to the degree that we can't focus on others.

Today I pray that I am able to see and feel what is going on around me in the lives of others. I pray that I will not be so full of me that I can't be filled with the needs of others. I pray that others will not be suffering in the garden while I sleep.

LUke 18:1-8 v James 4:1-3

It is interesting that Luke gives us the point of the parable before giving us the parable. Usually a parable starts via some discussion or question posed by another. In this case, Luke just hits us with it from the beginning, i.e., "this is a teaching about always praying."

I can't help but get to the end of this parable and wonder why some of my prayers seem to have gone unanswered. I was persistent. I was sincere. Yet, the answer didn't come.

It leads me to put James 4 beside this teaching. What is the goal of my prayers? What motivates me? Am I living for something bigger than myself that even deserves prayer? The woman in the parable was seeking justice. What do I seek?

Prayer; Luke 11:1-13

They asked for a lesson in prayer. As is typical for Jesus, he responded in ways they probably never expected.

First he prays very simply and straightforward. No fluff or beauty here, just clear communication.

Then he puts a line in the middle of the prayer that placed responsibility back on us. "Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us." I would have preferred just "forgive us our sins". The second part of the sentence clearly places responsibility on me for my own actions.

At the end of it all he concludes with giving the Holy Spirit to those who petition. My initial reaction is "where did that come from?" Yet perhaps it is not an "add on" at the end but rather the central theme all along.

Prayer, true heart level prayer, is about a relationship. It is about connecting my spirit with the Spirit of God. It is intertwined with my daily life and actions (forgiveness). But above all, it is the goal of piety and prayer.