Lord's Prayer: Who's will?

"Your kingdom come, your will be done."

Really? I’m not so sure I always like this portion. As my mouth utters “your will be done” my heart sticks an asterisk on it.  Scroll down to the footnote in my subconscious and you find something like this.

“What I really mean, God, is that I like to think you are in charge; it helps my self esteem to think that I’m submitting to you. And it is great to do your will when it fits into my schedule and dovetails with what I have planned anyway. So please take my plans and bless them so that they can be called yours. After all, frustrating the plans that I have already made while thinking that I was doing your will probably won’t go well for me. It would result in me having to spend a lot of time and energy to change; as an American, time and energy are always in short supply. In fact, my time and energy could be better spent if you bless my plans rather than make me shift to yours. So, since I’ve already made plans while deceiving myself that I know what is best, let’s just avoid the frustration altogether and let’s call my will yours. Amen.”

For me, living out “your will be done” is not the hard part. What trips me up is honestly desiring “your will be done” in the first place.