Free Will

The past few weeks have been filled with travel but also with reading and study. I'm taking a break from my reading in John to focus on another question. For quite some time I have been bothered by Christians missing opportunities because they are waiting on God to show them the right answer. I've witnessed virtual paralysis in decision making in many cases. I've also watched many people be hurt as well intentioned Christians played the trump card of God-told-me. They have used it for everything from divorce to leaving church to moving to another city.

And so I'm spending time with the question of "How do I discern God's will for my life?" This has led to another question of "Does God even have a specific will for each person?" This had led to the question of "Is the future predetermined or do we have total free will?" This has led to questions about the nature of God.

It all started out as a simple question that has now grown into a huge cloud that shadows all of life. Stay tuned.

John 7:25-53; Martyr Syndrome?

Did Jesus have a martyr syndrome? We often portray him as fixed on death. In many of our churches (and our lives) we leave him hanging on a cross. I've been in Catholic churches in Latin America where he is "lying in state" in a glass coffin. He bluntly stated in other places that he came to give his life as a ransom. Yet, the way this passage reads, I don't think he was fixed on death at all.

Twice the crowd tried to seize him and could not. The temple guards came for him but did not take him. Anyone that was looking for martyrdom would probably have taken advantage of one of those three moments. Yet, Jesus was not looking for death at that time; he was looking for how to give life.

And what's the big deal about whether he had a martyr syndrome or not? For me personally the issue is that I honestly don't know how to follow a person that has a death fixation. Am I to go through life being morbid or acting like this world does not count? But Jesus did not live that way. This is a man fixed not on death but on sharing life. All his teaching in this section is about knowing God and having his Spirit. His focus was not death but life.

When I think of Jesus I think he was a joyful person. I don't think he was silly happy nor do I think he was somber. He was driven by the purpose of giving life to others and that life was full of joy. He didn't call people to become zombies walking around exhausted from worry or work. He didn't call people to frivolity either. He called us all to wake up and really live. I think Jesus would have been refreshing to be around.

There is a line from an old church song that says "Look away from the cross to the glittering crown." I think Jesus would have liked that line.

John 7:1-24; Superficial Judgments

"Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.” How hard this is in so many areas of life. Often, I fear we don't even realize how superficial are our judgments.

On our campus many students struggle with faith and community. What I most commonly hear is a rejection of what is deemed conservativism; actually I think it is a rejection of whatever one grew up with. Among the middle-age crowd I hear the search for "the best" taking over when in reality "the best" is often another word for "what I enjoy the most".

Is it proper judgment to condemn a group for expressing themselves in a way that is respectful of their heritage and consistent with their understanding of scripture? Is it correct judgment to ignore history in order to find a more exciting experience? Conversely, is it correct judgment to turn a deaf ear to social trends and generational differences in order to simply avoid making a hard decision?

Probably most of us are like the average Jew in this reading, i.e., we do nothing because of our fear. Sometimes it is fear of offending someone or fear of a loss of being accepted, but in many cases we let fear rather than good judgment direct our lives. Ironically we think that not making waves is "the Christian thing to do". So why is it that Jesus was labeled a trouble-maker rather than a peace-maker? And why did he call all of us to make proper judgments if his highest value was simply keeping the status quo?

John 6:41-71; Could Jesus teach in today's church?

As I read this section I am amazed at how differently Jesus handled this situation compared to how most churches would handle it today. If someone in North American church is disgruntled today, our common reaction is to drop everything and put out the fire. Maybe it would have gone like this . . .

“At this the Jews began to grumble because of his teaching. This was troubling to everyone in church since our driving value is to make everyone happy. Obviously if someone is offended then this can’t be love and if its not love then its ungodly. So a meeting was called where the elders asked Jesus and the Jews to sit down. Both sides explained their understanding of what happened. At the end of the explanation time, the Jews were told they could leave and that they would be called after the elders had worked more on solving the problem. Then Jesus and the leaders would go over his statements carefully. He might be told, “Look Jesus, even if this is your deep belief, can’t you see its causing problems for your brothers? If you disturb them with some teaching like this, then it hurts their spiritual life. So, back off a little. Instead of saying that people must eat your flesh and drink your blood, say something like ‘work hard in your spiritual life’. If you talk like that then you are not challenging their foundations and being offensive. It lets everyone get along and be at peace together. Getting along and being happy are critical to our church life. You yourself said love is the greatest commandment. So love your neighbor and tone down your teaching.”

The reality is that Jesus just amped up his words even more and then asked the disciples if they wanted to leave also. Seems like “get along and be happy” is not what Jesus meant when he talked about “love your neighbor” or “follow me.” Sometimes I think we need to decide if we are going to be more Christian or more North American; I don't think we can always be both.

John 6:16-40; No More Signs

Jesus was reluctant to turn water to wine at Cana. Then he would not heal the official's son the way the crowd wanted. Now he does not want to give a new crowd a new sign. They crossed the sea (lake) for him and are seeking after him. Yet in response to "what sign will you give us", he basically talks about entering into a faith relationship with him.

I continue to be amazed at how much we probably look like the crowd. Just think of our prayers. "Jesus, I don't know which one of these options to choose; give me a sign." "Lord, show me what to do now." "I'll stay here and not move until you indicate the best choice." It sounds spiritual but I just don't see Jesus jumping onboard.

The story within the story makes me scratch my head also. Jesus disappeared into the mountains and the disciples headed to Capernaum without him. They had all types of problems until Jesus finally joined them; then everything worked out fine. One could conclude that their error was proceeding without Jesus. The problem is that in Matthew, Jesus told them to go ahead. So concluding that they should have waited for Jesus would be to conclude that they should have been disobedient. That doesn't make any sense at all.

So putting it all together it seems that Jesus wanted to communicate to seekers and followers alike that faith in him is key. When we are just starting a conscientous spiritual walk, the first step is identifying the focus of our faith -- signs or the man Jesus? When we have been following for some time, it is just as critical to remember that obedience must always be accompanied by faith in this man.

Honestly I hate how simple that all sounds. Since I fail so miserably at the task, I want the task to sound really complicated. And of course Jesus won't let me get away with that excuse either.

John 6:1-15; Mine or His?

Not many people every have 5000 followers, not even today in the world of "insta-publish" yourself. Yet, the number didn't seem to affect Jesus either way. The story gives no sense of urgency ("oh my, so few") or sense of success ("wow, look at how many"). Rather Jesus simply moves on with his teaching.

The crowd pursued Jesus because they had seen the signs he performed; so this is a group with good hearts. They are working hard seeking after Jesus in remote places; these are not nominal believers that are busy with other things until Sunday morning rolls around. When Jesus fed them miraculously, they were even more convinced that he was the Prophet (not "a" but "the"); their faith was solid and they were ready to commit to him. Then Jesus does the politically incorrect thing -- he leaves. He disappears into the mountains. (Note: This story has both green grass and mountains making it hard to identify with while living in west Texas!)

He knew they wanted Jesus to be their king. They could envision how he would fit into their lives and how he would lead. They had a place carved out for him and knew just how it would look with Jesus at the helm. But Jesus doesn't seem to take kindly to being placed in a box and so he left.

I wonder if this scene doesn't play out in our lives over and over. We seek Jesus, feel closer to him, grow in our faith and then seem to lose track of him. Maybe we are committing the same error as the crowd; maybe Jesus purposefully pulls back when we are ready to box him in to being "my personal savior", "my best friend", "my CEO", "my Sunday god", "my political adviser", etc. Any title we try to place on him that starts with the word "my" probably sends him retreating into the mountains again. "My" implies possession and who owns whom has always been a big deal to Jesus.

I've always thought that feeling distant from Jesus in my spiritual walk was due to sin on my part (Isaiah 59:1-2). Maybe there is more to the story though; maybe distance also comes into the relationhsip when I try to make Jesus "mine" and control him with stereotypes. Now the issue becomes figuring out which boxes I am trying to force him into and how to shift my thinking from "he is mine" to "I am his."

John 5:16-47; Like Father, Like Son

Jesus' argument is not that complicated here. He basically said "I am God because I do God things." Wouldn't it be great if we were able to say the same thing regarding our Christian life, i.e., "You can tell that I am a follower of Christ because I do Christ things." Here is how we might say 5:16-47 about ourselves (bascially picking and choosing verses since all would not apply to us).

"My Jesus is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working. . . I can do nothing by myself; I can do only what I see Jesus doing, because whatever he does, I do also. For Jesus loves me and shows me all he does. . . By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear and my judgement is just for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me."

Ironically, this is not the way I was raised to think. I was reared to defend my faith and increase my confidence by being able to point to scripture for all my actions. The disturbing thing is that pointing to scripture for justification is what the other guys in the story were doing. I have no interest in ignoring scripture; I do, however, desire a life that is upright not because I have scriptural backing but rather because my life looks like Jesus.