Often reading a text helps me see where my bias has given me wrong impressions. I have always viewed Paul as being the guy willing to stick it out, engage any mob and lay down his life anyplace, anytime and anywhere. But that is not what happens in his story.
In Acts 9 the new convert Paul was lowered by a basket out the window of the city wall in order to escape. In chapter 14 he and Barnabas fled Iconium. Now in chapter 17 he is sent away from Thessalonica by the church and then escorted out of Berea by caring brothers. Four out of four times Paul chose to leave so that he might preach in other places. Apparently he felt called to missions more than to martyrdom.
Interestingly enough, I don't see Jesus praying in the garden saying, "Thank you so much for this time to finally die. I've been looking forward to it."
I wonder if our glorification of martyrdom in the life of Paul and Jesus has served to make them less accessible to us. We think that they were made of different stuff than us; that they had another level of spirituality because they were martyrs. The truth seems to be that they were more like us than we care to admit. Maybe that makes living like Jesus a little too realistic for us. Maybe it is safer to leave them as inaccessible in order to not be threatened by their examples. After all, if I can't identify with them or understand them, then I can't be expected to live like them. Then I can go to Walmart, spend money on myself, ignore the needs of others and lead a much more comfortable -- and much less meaningful -- life.
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