I've often read this passage and felt like Jesus was being mean, or at least really grumpy. I get the same feeling reading a few other miracles like the woman begging for her daughter and Jesus saying I was sent to the Jews or the time that the big crowd follows him around to the other side of the big lake. Even the first miracle in Cana gives that feeling but I think that much of that "grumpy look" in John 2 is due to awkward translation of "Woman, why do you involve me?" which apparently carries no negative conotation in its original language. This one, however, seems grumpy.
As I continue to look at it and study, I have come to this conclusion, I think Jesus comes across as negative because he was. This Jewish official is doing all he can to save his son's life; I think Jesus has only sympathy for him. But when he responds saying, "“Unless you people see signs and wonders you will never believe," he uses a plural "you". He is not talking to the man as the father of a sick child; he is talking to a group. Apparently a crowd has gathered (maybe helping the dad find Jesus) or Jesus is referring to part or all of the Jewish nation or both. So the response is meant to be negative but it is not a response against the father but against a group. Jesus wants nothing to do with those who follow him due to his giving of "signs". The father is not of this group; he distinguishes himself byt persisting in his faith that Jesus can heal his son. By healing him from a distance, Jesus honored the father's petition but totally put off the crowd that would have followed Jesus to the boy's side to watch a miracle.
And so I conclude that Jesus can be negative with people (not a popular concept among those of us who always want a touchy-feely Jesus on demand) and that he really doesn't want followers who want "on-demand" miracles and signs. It seems to be the rage these days to pray, "God if you want me to do X, then give me a sign." This story makes me wonder how God feels getting all those petitions.
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