Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Romans 7:14-25; Wretched

Yesterday was an irritating day. It was not a disaster day where major calamity strikes but it was one of those days when everything feels like it keeps going wrong. My father's example of how to handle those days was to get angry. All day I felt a struggle to not respond in anger to multiple situations. I was doing well until someone personally hurt me. Then my ability to handle the little irritations collapsed and my anger rose to the surface.

The text says "what a wretched man I am". Truly that is the feeling when life becomes an internal battle between what I know I want to do and what I seem programed to do. The great consolation that I hold on to is that this will not always be the case. Today I will choose whom I serve and I know that in my Divine Father's eyes he sees me as rescued from the poor example put in me years ago.

I can't get rid of the "wretched man" feeling by my efforts -- that just leads to more frustration. I will live today rejoicing in gratitude of the fact that God does not see me as wretched. I will live relieved.

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